january janus two face

homme approximatif comme moi comme toi lecture
laughs with one face weeps with the other ~ T. T.


-------- the prob. of the face and thoes who hide. behind theirs. private. public. who play a game of economics.
say one thing do another.
_________________________

January is always a death march. we spoke of marche a lot. marche here and marche there. marching marching walking. then,
you offered. but there was a breath between offering and taking.
some space i couldnt walk in. You had no idea what that was for me. None at all. Your life's been so different than me, how could you. I couldn't even get angry. I just fell off, apart, a parachute , flattened on the ground. I'd like to get really angry. But it feels empty. I don't know where you are , and I'm afraid to look.

Bodies everywhere are liable to be alive,
to be a snow flake.


2

Time is running out. As they say. Hourglass. Tick tock tick tock.
Hour run time. Out glass run tock tock tock-tick.

I may go love. I might have to go somewhere else. Love someone else. Someone else's lips. Her lips, another's mouth.

It won't be the same, it could not be. How could it? Everyone knows this. The click between you and I, was ___
yes.

You know. I know you know. Even though you're not reading, and never will. It's private, like a death is. Or spring coming . I go.




3


i hardly



Like most adults, I hardly have any self-control
when it comes to things like that.

I mean adults, like you and I.

Hardly on the edge of water,
but you, you're more anchored
than I'll ever be.

You've no idea of my life.
Nothing about it's reality.

We never got around to discussing that, did we ?

No, it was too much. of the other stuff. and I'm not even sure
anylonger what it all was. Except you chased me.

And now, and now, well, I don't even want to say.

It's all crazy.





It



It doesn't matter any longer. I'll never see you. It
looks like it's dead. what we built, gone,
in air, of air.
Rather tumble_ d . wasn't it.

I don't know where you are.

I know when I get close to finding out. It's too painful. I just back down.

So it goes. for today then. we'll leave the peace in peace. as it gets.